WHY ME? Asks Why? The Xmen
by WHY ME
Summary: Umm...Read and Review...See for yourself, hope you like!


Disclaimer: I own nothin'. ~sigh~  
  
~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~? ~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~?~  
  
WHY ME? Asks Why  
Guests: X-Men, Brotherhood  
Guest Authors: Lethal Fairy, Diamond Unicorn  
  
WHY ME?: ~phony smile and phony cheery voice~ Good morning-  
  
Diamond Unicorn: But, it's night.  
  
WM?: Well, on the east coast it's morning.  
  
DU: No it isn't...  
  
WM?: Leave me alone! Good whatever damn time of the damn day it is!  
  
Hank: ~pops out~ Watch the language! We're trying to keep a PG rating! ~leaves~  
  
WM? ~mutters~ It's my damn show. Why'd I put him in charge?  
  
Lethal Fairy: Cuz you're stupid! Now drop the phoney act and introduce our vict- guest!  
  
WM?: ~glares at LF, sighs, puts the phony act back on~ Right, our first guest is... Hey, who's our first guest?  
  
LF: Storm, you idiot! This is your damn show!  
  
Hank: Language, we haven't installed the censor, yet.  
  
WM?: It's my damn show! ~phony act~ So, let's introduce our first guest, Miss Munroe!  
  
Ororo: ~walks into room, pauses when she sees her chair's a folding chair~ A folding chair?  
  
WM?: We kinda ran low on funds...  
  
DU: That's because you decided the hosts get expensive chairs.  
  
LF: Yep! My chair, not even the gods and goddesses can get me out of it! *rocks happily in recliner*  
  
WM?: Right, so, Miss Munroe, how old are you?  
  
Ororo: I'm twenty-one.  
  
WM?: What's your favorite kind of candy?  
  
Ororo: Shocktarts.  
  
LF: Surprise, surprise. Stop with these boring questions!  
  
WM?: Shh! We'll get to the other questions LATER. Is your hair naturally white?  
  
Ororo: Yes.  
  
WM?: And your eyes are naturally blue?  
  
Ororo: Yes.  
  
WM?: Are you and Mister Logan going out?  
  
Ororo: Yes- what?  
  
LF: There you have it! They're dating! So, how long have you been a couple?  
  
Ororo: We are only friends.  
  
WM?&LF: ~glance at each other~ Right. 'Close friends'.  
  
LF: How long have you two been seeing each other?  
  
Ororo: We see each other every day.  
  
WM?: Stop with the stupid act!  
  
LF: Why, you play the phony act.  
  
WM?: I'm the damn main host! I do whatever I damn well want to!  
  
DU: I'm trying to read a book, can you two be quiet...? ~goes back to some book with a horse on the cover~  
  
LF: She's always reading...  
  
WM?: So, how long have you and Logan been dating?  
  
Ororo: I told you, we are just friends.  
  
LF: Friends that see each other EVERYDAY. Friends that are always mysteriously not in the show. Friends-  
  
Ororo: Fine, four months.  
  
LF: And the truth comes out.  
  
WM?: How long have you been 'together'?  
  
Ororo: What? 'Together'?  
  
LF: You heard the question!  
  
Ororo: I don't know what you mean.  
  
LF: Fine, I'll translate. How long have you two been having sexu-  
  
Hank: Censors are now installed.  
  
LF: What? ~shrug~ How long have you two had ****** **********? What the ****?!  
  
WM?: **** him! So, Miss Munroe?  
  
Ororo: Um, I have to go. ~walks off stage quickly~  
  
LF: Well, we got nothing out of her.  
  
WM?: Yes we did. We now know that she and Logan are having ***.  
  
LF: These stupid censors.... Can I kill Mister McCoy?  
  
WM?: Later... Next guest: Mister Logan!  
  
Logan: ~enters stage and looks at the new lie detector~ This wasn't here before.  
  
LF: Yes it was!  
  
WM?: ~pushes Logan into chair, chair locks him in~ It was there all this time! It's all in your mind, there's no electric chair, you're relaxing. Anyway, my first question is: How long have you and Miss Munroe been 'together'?  
  
Logan: We're not together. ~zap~ What the ****?  
  
LF: It zaps you when you're lying. ~turns little knob all the way up~ Full powah!  
  
WM?: Now, answer our question, Mister Logan.  
  
Logan: Why do you want to know? ~zap~ I asked a question! ~zap~  
  
LF: We ask the questions here, buddy! So, how long have you and Miss Munroe been 'together'?  
  
Logan: We're not 'together'! ~zap~ *****************************************************!  
  
LF: And this man is suppose to set an example for teenagers? ~sadly shakes head~  
  
WM?: So, wanna answer the question yet?  
  
Logan: I have! ~zap~  
  
WM?: LIAR! You're not suppose to lie to children, you know it damages their minds!  
  
Logan: I'm not sayin' anything! ~zap~  
  
LF: You really hate the healing factor and metal right now, don't ya?  
  
Logan: ~growl~ Ok, one week. ~zap~  
  
LF: We heard different.  
  
WM?: According to the lie detector, you're lying.  
  
Logan: Fine, two weeks! ~zap~ One month. ~zap~ I told the truth! ~zap~ Ok, fine, four months! ~zap~ Fine SIX! ~no zap~  
  
WM?: The truth comes out!  
  
LF: But Miss Munroe said they've only been dating for four months... She was LYING!  
  
WM?: So, how long have you been dating?  
  
Logan: Seven months. ~zap~  
  
LF: Have you EVEN gone out on a date?  
  
Logan: Yeah. ~zap~  
  
WM?: ~gasp~ They probably just ran into each other's arms...  
  
LF: ~clears throat~ Moving on!  
  
Logan: You ****ing kids let me go! ~zap~  
  
WM?: Should we let 'im go?  
  
LF: ~shrug~ For right now.  
  
WM?: ~phony smile~ Let's move on to the next guest. Kitty!  
  
Kitty: ~walks out on the stage, sits down in new recliner~  
  
WM?: Where the hell did that recliner come from?  
  
LF: The Magical Author's Silver Gel Pen That Never Runs Out Of Ink.  
  
WM?: Why does she get a recliner?  
  
LF: Because she's my favorite character!  
  
WM?: Talk about irony... It's my show!  
  
LF: I don't give a ****!  
  
DU: Both of you be quiet.  
  
WM?: Fine then! So, um... Kitty, how long have you and Lance been 'together?'  
  
Kitty: Are you asking that to everyone?  
  
WM?: Yes. Yes, I am.  
  
Kitty: Me and Lance aren't 'together.'  
  
Kita~offstage~: Yeah, right! My room's right next to yours...  
  
Kitty: Kita, be quiet!  
  
Kita~offstage~: ~imitation of Lance's voice~ Hey, Kitty, let's rock the bed!  
  
Kitty: ~blush~ KITA! Stop it!  
  
Kita~offstage~: ~imitation of Lance's voice~ Kitty, I'll rock your world!  
  
Kitty: ~blushs even more~ KITA, I SWEAR!  
  
Lance~offstage~: DIE, KITA!  
  
Kita~offstage~: Aw, it's ok Lance. Kitten told me you were smaller and thinner then a needle, but she still loves you.  
  
Lance~offstage~: I'm not smaller and thinner then a needle!  
  
Kita~offstage~: You just can't give her what she needs Lance... But, obviously she can give you what you need. So, what does she do to make you call her a Pretty Kitty?  
  
WM?: Where does she get all this stuff?  
  
Kitty: I don't know, but I'm going to kill her. ~storms offstage~  
  
WM?: Ooookkkk... next guest: Tabby!  
  
Tabby: ~sits on recliner~  
  
WM?: How come she gets a recliner...?  
  
LF: She and Kitty are both my favorite characters! ~happily rocks in recliner~  
  
WM?: ~glare at LF~ I hate you. ~to Tabby~ Now, how long have you and Kurt been 'together?'  
  
Tabby: I don't think Blue wants me telling you.  
  
WM?: Of course he does!  
  
Kurt~offstage~: Nein I don't!  
  
WM?: ~glare~ **** him... So, have you and Kurt found any other uses for his tail?  
  
LF: And she says I have a sick mind...  
  
Tabby: I don't think he wants me telling you that either.  
  
WM?: Ok, how old are you, Tabby?  
  
Tabby: 16...  
  
WM?: What's your favorite color?  
  
Tabby: Hmm...  
  
Kurt~offstage~: It's blue!  
  
Tabby: Kurt, don't speak for me! It's blue.  
  
WM?: I'm glad to see she has a mind of her own.  
  
LF: If Kurt's covered in blue fur, then is his-  
  
WM?: NEXT QUESTION!  
  
LF: ~rolls eyes~  
  
WM?: You're not included in the next talkshow!  
  
LF: Woe is me.  
  
WM?: Um... Next guest! Rogue!  
  
~Tabby leaves, Rogue comes in, sits down~  
  
WM?: What's your favorite color?  
  
LF: ~pulls anime-style hammer out of the air, smacks WM? in the head~  
  
WM?: ~Rubs her head~ Where did you get that?!  
  
~anime-style hammer vanishes LF smiles innocently~  
  
WM: ~takes out light saber (I don't own those) tries to hit LF with it but misses by a lot and hits camera~ Oops....uh....  
  
~Screen blanks out~  
  
DU: We're experiencing technical difficulties...This is not a test...I repeat this is not a test.  
  
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Official Announcer Guy: Funding for this program has been brought to you by...Voodoo Doll Incorporated! Get All your Voodoo needs! And Psycho Bitch Escort service! We provide a very active and entertaining evening! Tune in Next Week For WHY ME? asks Why? Digi-Destined! Find out the Truth about Matt and Tai!  
  
(By the way, LF and WM? wrote this at three in the morning a long time ago working on sugar saturated soda) 


End file.
